4. Standing by the fireplace, Todd Many Goats has my mother shower in ash. Tarajean walks her slowly to the bathroom, removing each article of clothing as they remember the years of undressing my father in and out of comas. My mom takes off her shame. She reaches into the bowl of ashes and spreads them over her head, her face, her shoulders, her breasts, her stomach, her hips, her legs and her feet. Gray and black, appearing earthly again, she comes back to the fireplace and sits among the medicine. Todd asks for the arrowhead and begins his rhythmic singing.